Some great football quotes and other funny quotes about stuff
leeds legend
Posted on: February 08, 2008, 01:05:19 PM
Sports Quotes
Anthony Burgess: Football Quote
Five days shalt thou labour, as the Bible says. The seventh day is the Lord thy God's. The sixth day is for football.
Stafford Heginbotham: Football Quote
Football is the opera of the people.
Oscar Wilde: Football Quote
Football is all very well as a game for rough girls, but is hardly suitable for delicate boys.
Coach Dave Dir: Football Quote
Anyone who tells me soccer is boring, I'm going to punch them in the face.
Mark Viduka: Football Quote
I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.
Alan Shearer: Football Quote
I've never wanted to leave.
I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.
Stuart Pearce: Football Quote
I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.
Soccer advertisement: Football Quote
A sport where the players actually enjoy getting hit in the head by a ball.
Pete Davies: Football Quote
Soccer is not about justice. It's a drama - and criminally wrong decisions against you are part and parcel of that.
Author Unknown: Football Quote
Why is there only one ball for 22 players? If you gave a ball to each of them, they'd stop fighting for it.
Torrin Polk, on his coach, John Jenkins: Stupid Football Quotes
He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.
Ray Prefontaine about son, Steve: Stupid Football Quotes
He was too small for football and he got tired of sitting on the bench all the time.
Tim Green: Stupid Football Quotes
Let's face it, you have to have a slightly recessive gene that has a little something to do with the brain to go out on the football field and beat your head against other human beings on a daily basis.
Pressbox maxim: Stupid Football Quotes
Playing football in the morning is like eating cabbage for breakfast.
Author Unknown: Stupid Football Quotes
Concerning football playing, I protest to you it may rather be called a friendly kind of fighting, rather than recreation.
Thierry Henry: Stupid Football Quotes
Sometimes in football you have to score goals.
Chuck Knox: Stupid Football Quotes
Football players win football games.
Dan Birdwell: Inspirational Football Quotes
You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four.
Posted on: February 08, 2008, 01:09:30 PM
Your a woman of many parts Pussy.
James Bond, Goldfinger
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?
Mae West
Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.
Drebin, Naked Gun 2 1/2
If you only see one movie this year... you should get out more often!
Woman: Is this some kind of a bust?
Drebin: It's very impressive, yes.
The Naked Gun 2 1/2
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
Lou Holtz
Adam's first words to Eve: "Stand back, I don`t know how big this thing gets!"
Dear Hope
"If I'm not back in five minutes.. wait longer."
Ace Ventura, Pet Detective
Who's that then?"
"I dunno, must be a king"
"Why do you say that"
"Because he hasnt got shit all over him"
Two peasants, "Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail"
"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are."
Matt Lauer (on NBC's Today Show).
"Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife."
James H. Kabbler III.
"When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off."
Stephen King.
"A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials."
Ronald Knox.
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' "
Charlie Brown.
Posted on: February 08, 2008, 01:19:04 PM
FUNNY TV QUOTES
"On cable TV they have a weather channel - 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window."
Dan Spencer
"My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too."
Peter De Vries
"Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work."
Gallagher
"Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy."
Richard Nixon
"Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it."
Alfred Hitchcock
"[The television is] an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home."
David Frost"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
Groucho Marx (...more Groucho Marx Quotes).
"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners."
Johnny Carson
"Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good. It would be the end of everything we know."
Marvin Minsky
"It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper."
Rod Serling
Posted on: February 08, 2008, 01:21:26 PM
FUNNY QUOTES FROM AMERICAN PRESIDENTS
"I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming."
Jimmy Carter.
"I have orders to be awakened at any time in the case of a national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting."
Ronald Reagan.
"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another."
George Bush.
"I'm glad I'm not Brezhnev. Being the Russian leader in the Kremlin. You never know if someone's tape recording what you say."
Richard Nixon.
"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them."
George Bush.
"Politics is supposed be the second oldest profession. I have come to realise that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."
Ronald Reagan.
"You can tell alot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans."
Ronald Reagan.
"I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon."
Ronald Reagan.
"People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like."
(almost unbelievably) Abraham Lincoln.
"When the President does it, that means that it's not illegal."
Richard Nixon.
"Things are more like they are now than they ever were before."
Dwight D. Eisenhower.
FUNNY QUOTES FROM GEORGE W BUSH
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."
"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"
"What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position."
"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
"If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign."
"We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself."
"The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case."
"If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura."
